Onion horoscope of the week

we're starting a new feature: picking the best horoscope of the week from The Onion.

from a somewhat mediocre field, this beaut definitely shined:

Libra (September 23 - October 23)
It will smell like burnt toast, taste like burnt toast, and even look like burnt toast, but you'll be damned if it isn't just a massive cerebral hemorrhage of the frontal lobe.

[onion horoscopes]