Onion Horoscope of the Week

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Everyone laughed when you said the CIA was running mind-control experiments, but they won't be laughing this week when you're admitted to a local insane asylum.

[The Onion's February 12 horoscopes]

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a classic riff on the "everyone laughed when ... but they won't be laughing now" horoscope, well done, Lloyd Schumner Sr., Retired Machinist and A.A.P.B.-certified Astrologer